FULL ON CRAZY CHOCOLATE

by STEPHEN BARD

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about

Followup to REDDER THOUGHTS / BLUER MIND.
Predecessor to CARAMELANCHOLYFLOWER.

credits

released June 23, 2017

Written, Arranged, Produced and Performed by Stephen Bard.
Recorded and Mixed by Stephen Bard, with thanks to Ryan Ball.

Copyright 2017. Chocolate Covered Strawberry Music (ASCAP).
Daily Natural Alternative Records. DNA 008.

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license

all rights reserved

about

STEPHEN BARD New Jersey

Musician.
Singer.
Songwriter.
Arranger.
Producer.
Recording Artist.
Son.
Brother.
Husband.
Father.

contact / help

Contact STEPHEN BARD

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Track Name: Out Of Your Mind
Hey man, how you been?
Good to see you again
For a minute there I thought maybe we were no longer friends
While we’re on the subject, I’ve been wondering how was it?
Pedal to the metal or nice and easy does it?
Either way I imagine it was as wild as you’ll ever find
Because by now I’m sure we both can agree
She’s out of her mind

No I don’t mind you two hooked up
Who was I to interrupt such bliss as you have never known
Spilling from that loving cup?
But let’s get off the subject
'Cause while I know that you enjoyed it
It was way more than you bargained for
And now better to avoid it
You played a crazy game that ultimately ran out of time
I know you know now but if you’re asking me
She’s out of her mind

It’s got to be a freak out that once you finally sleep with her
She calls at least three times a day and weeps into the speaker
And what begins a heaven
Turns to hell just trying to keep with her
The will to stay and find a way just grows weaker and weaker
And then before you know it, the hurricane moves on
That cocktail of sex and pain is gone

Oh by the way, how’s the leg?
I recall it was more like a peg
I bet you hopped right into bed and just as quickly had to beg
I won’t say I told you so, that would betray such nerve
But when you play with fire bro, you get what you deserve
Clearly I was the wiser to leave all that lunacy behind
Because by now I’m sure we both can agree
You’ve learned the hard way but if you’re asking me
It doesn’t take a psychologist to see
The fact this crazy girl will never be out of your mind
Track Name: Ain't No Need To Lie
We’re coming to the end of this - there ain’t no need to lie
The truth is you don’t give a damn if I live or die
So wipe that plastic smile off your face and say goodbye
It’s over, babe - there ain’t no need to lie

There ain’t no need to lie like we both have done before
I knew I’d reach the point I couldn’t take this anymore
But I never thought me trying to help would just make you a whore
But hey, at least with me, no need to fake it anymore

I saw that shit you posted - spewing venomous and vile
So hateful and ungrateful, out yo mind and in denial
I’m sick and tired of scaling this gargantuan volcano
Uninspired when all that’s left is avarice and ego
So swallow that lip service down your throat and don’t ask why
It’s over, babe – there ain’t no need to lie

There’s a reason motherfucker didn’t call you for a week
I know that it’s unlikely you’ll admit it
But when you’re lonely in the night
Hold the mirror to the light
And maybe by some stroke of luck you’ll get it
But I doubt it

We’re coming to the end of this - there ain’t no need to lie
The truth is you don’t give a damn if I live or if I die
So wipe that plastic smile off your face and say goodbye
It’s over, babe - there ain’t no need to lie
It's over, babe - there ain't no need to lie
Track Name: That Way Lies The Danger
The pull is strong, I get it
It’ll take you if you let it
There’s a good chance you’ll regret it though one day
Such a high to choose it
So easy to abuse it
What you got, you lose it all the way
Because that way, because that way
Because that way lies the danger

The ones you love are hurtin’
Carrying this burden
While behind the velvet curtain you’re astray
Fantasy is one thing
But if the family’s a done thing
You know there won’t be nothing left to say
Because that way, because that way
Because that way lies the danger

Think about your love
Think about your love
All that it’s made of
Think about your love
Don’t go and lose your soul
Right down that blackest hole
Somebody needs you more than they ever did before
Than they ever did before
Than they ever did before
Track Name: That 4th Queen
I can’t believe I pulled that 4th queen

As if 3 wasn’t amazing enough

Most amazing thing I’ve ever seen

Cousin I don’t even have to bluff

Lady’s just a diamond in the rough

I don’t even care if I win or not

I’m just so amazed with what I’ve got

Most amazing thing I’ve ever seen

I can’t believe I pulled that 4th queen
Track Name: Hot Air Balloonatic
Let’s get this on the wall
Straight up and right on top
For the record y’all, the croon is sick
Chill factor 99
Saline in both your eyes
Full blood erections rise in every Jane and Dick
And I feel for you, baby, I really do
I mean it can’t be too tight now with all them loose screws
Still I’ve got to say they're so damn in the way
And while the hopes were high
This is goodbye

And so your palaces of sand all crumble to the sea
My little hot air balloonatic
No '69 Brandy's gonna get the best of me
My little hot air balloonatic
When nothing goes as planned cuz half the band is crazy
It ain’t enough that the croon is sick

So blah-blah-blah
Blah-blah-blah
Blah-blah-blah
Hot air balloonatic, man you ain’t no place to be
(Man I am so glad I'm free)

Was hard to not get hard off that bony ass
I’m talking boom-boom-pow but Ow! what a stony pass
You're the gravest yard
Can't tell you otherwise
The last thing you know how to do now is apologize
Me, I ain’t gonna trip on all that wack you said
You think you's getting real but you's just off your head
While that’s all well and good in the neighborhood
With me it doesn’t fly
This is goodbye
Track Name: How Much You Really Cared
Don’t pretend now
Don’t pretend now
It’s beneath you or at least, me
So don’t pretend now you’re my friend now
With empty words left on the phone ‘cause I can see
How much you really cared
How much you really dared
When you really just preferred
To let a tyrant make your crucial choices for you
I was unaware you could ever be so scared
Now I see how much you really cared

Don’t pretend now it’s not the end now
Our future is now the past
So don’t pretend now you’re my friend now
With naïve promises for which I haven’t asked
How much you really cared
How much you really bared
When every note I heard
A failed attempt to make a dictator adore you
Information never shared
Nobody was spared
Now I see how much you really cared

The last thing that I told you was to not make a decision
Unless you absolutely needed it to be
Now you find yourself in such a compromised position
Sending out a smoke signal to me
What do I do with this?
There’s nothing true to this
You should know I’m through with this
Track Name: The Truth About You
Make a promise
Pretend you’re honest
But a doubting Thomas is what I tend to be
‘Cause soon you will prove
With every single move you’re making that you’ve
Never been a friend to me

Your arms were double-crossed
When they should have been open wide
I saw the way you laughed and the way you cried
Sometimes somebody gets a little too inside

But from all that I’ve seen and what’s in between
This much is true
One thing you should know
Wherever you go and whatever you do
I know the truth about you

So tight
Through the long night
But something wasn’t right somewhere in the O
Enthusiastic, yes, but a little too plastic
Guess I wasn’t fantastic enough to stay in the show

Your legs were open wide
When they should have been double-crossed
What counts was photographed while the rest was tossed
Sometimes you don’t know when your dignity’s been lost
Track Name: Neurosis
A pink flamingo with a fishing pole
strolling down the avenue
Not too crazy 'bout the present
That the new poodle left on her shoe
Throws a fit right there in Bloomingdales
About the fish shortage in the sea
Says, "Yeah, some show me a whale of a time
But the catch is too wack for me."

Hey, we all got neuroses
Say why don't we toast these
Right now at your daddy's backyard barbecue
And stop, drop all of the worry
You don't need to say you're sorry
It shouldn't have to be so hard for me or for you

I see you waiting on the milk to spill
Banging that megaphone
Me, I've been weeping over waterfalls
Since I was knee-high to a rolling stone, baby
Don't pretend it doesn't bother you when your world turns out of hand
I hope it brings you some comfort babe
That I most definitely understand

Hey, three cheers for neuroses
Say why don't we roast these
Sacred cows and hangups out there on that spit
'Cause the doc says it's all in the perspective
The only real objective is letting go
And getting the heck on with it
So hey, please don't let me blow this
I wouldn't want to throw this
So fantastic shindig down the disappointed drain
Just feel like I should mention
Please pay no attention to a little neurosis now and again

Nobody gonna love you more
Nobody gonna love you more
I know I take it way too far with how particular it has to be
I'm crazy but I love you baby
Be patient with me
Track Name: Obstacle Course
Oh well go back and try again

Yeah it was fun in the beginning
Not like the same old routine
More like a game I was winning
Field was as fine as I’ve seen
But then it started to change
I’m finding out what that meant
The game got harder and stranger
Deeper and further I went
Now I’m afraid of the danger and I’m just tired and spent

Why does it have to be an obstacle course?
Always so much stuff in the way
Yeah I know that I can see you but I doubt I’ll ever reach you
If I’m being realistic, this kinda feels sadistic
Different challenges every day
Why do I play this obstacle course?

Hey I’m not a quitter by nature
But I really think if I stay here
I’ll end up dead and beaten eaten by an alligator
All down your mad rushing river
Yeah it’s exciting at first
But I start to shake and shiver and I’m smashing into boulders
While I’m carrying the weight of all your hang-ups on my shoulders

I’m running through this obstacle course
Always so much stuff in the way
I’m caught anticipating all those prizes up there waiting
But I don’t think I can make it - I’m not sure I can take it
Is it even worth it to stay?
Why do I play this obstacle course?
Track Name: That Ain't Lovin' Me Either
The summer we got together
I thought I finally found someone who could take me as I am
Love me good and strong
Celebrate my power and help me sing my song
Funny sometimes how wrong you can be

You don’t want to console me
You just want to control me
You don’t want to engage me
Darlin’ you just want to cage me
You don’t want to love me
Oh no you just want to change me
Into something that you think I should be
That ain’t lovin’ me

The spring before we happened
I’d been watching you around
You seemed so independent
So free and confident
Lately I’ve been wondering where on earth that person went
‘Cause my pillow says enough time’s been spent

You don’t want to take me
Oh no you just want to break me till I fit your sensibility
That ain’t lovin’ me

You gotta work it out babe
You gotta work it out babe
Whatever went down babe
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta…

You don’t want to help build me
All you want to do is guilt me
You don’t want to soul mate me
Darlin’ you manipulate me
Track Name: Open Road Now
She got the open road now, babe
Sat in that awful traffic for an hour and a half
Four lanes into one ain’t no one’s idea of fun
So ridiculous she had to laugh
She got the open road now, babe
Ain’t nothin’ gonna stand in her way
Sick and tired of him never ever getting it together
There wasn’t any reason to stay

Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
Stretchin’ out all wild and free
Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
Exactly where she oughta be

She got the open road now, babe
Got the window rolled down and the radio on
He didn’t think she’d do it but I’m pretty sure he knew it
When he opened up his eyes and she was already gone
She got the open road now, babe
Ain’t nothin’ rollin’ down on either side
With all the guilt that he could serve up
It was tough to get the nerve up
You know she’s feeling satisfied

Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
Stretchin’ out all wild and free
Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
And it ain’t nothin’ she don’t need it to be
She got the open road now, babe

Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
Like a river flowing out in the breeze
Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
She ain’t no fool like Thelma, got no crime like Louise

She got the open road now, babe
It’s time she got some peace of mind
When it turns into a noose, you know you gotta cut it loose
And while it’s frightening to leave it behind

Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
And it’s ok to be a little afraid
Ain’t nothin’ like the highway, babe
And to hell with all the games that he played
Ain’t nothin’ like the highway
Believe me, it was way more scary in the bed that he made
She got the open road now, babe
She got the open road now, babe
She got the open road now, babe
Track Name: No Reason
I love you as I’ve always loved you
The pain is a 9 on a scale from 1 to 10
I see no reason to ever see your face again

We stuck together
All kinds of weather
Many a night my heart drifts back to then
I see no reason to ever see your face again

Except to hurt myself
When the urge presents itself
Why would I do that? Why would I do that to myself?

And I love you like I’ve always loved you
What’s the point in trying to pretend?
I see no reason to ever see your face again

Except to hurt myself
When the urge presents itself
Why would I do that?
Why would I do that when there’s always something else?

And I love you as I’ve always loved you
But what’s the point in trying to pretend?
I see no reason to ever see your face again
I see no reason to ever see your face again
Track Name: You're Crazy. No Offense.
Ain’t no way I’m telling you what to do.
Your life is yours. It’s totally up to you.
No matter how that goes, one thing is true.

You’re crazy. No offense.

Ain’t no way I’m telling you where to go.
The jig is up; the gig is yours to blow.
It don’t matter much ‘cause we both know.

You’re crazy. No offense.

You’re crazy. No offense.
The atmosphere here’s too intense.
And nothing makes much sense you ever say.
You’re crazy. No offense.
I ain’t got time for arguments.
Hey, we’re all trying to make our rents here every day.

Ain’t no way I’m telling you how to live.
We all know you’re very sensitive.
And it won’t change no matter what I give because you’re crazy.
No offense.