FULL ON CRAZY CHOCOLATE

by Stephen Bard

/
1.
Hey man, how you been? Good to see you again For a minute there I thought maybe we were no longer friends While we’re on the subject, I’ve been wondering how was it? Pedal to the metal or nice and easy does it? Either way I imagine it was as wild as you’ll ever find Because by now I’m sure we both can agree She’s out of her mind No I don’t mind you two hooked up Who was I to interrupt such bliss as you have never known Spilling from that loving cup? But let’s get off the subject 'Cause while I know that you enjoyed it It was way more than you bargained for And now better to avoid it You played a crazy game that ultimately ran out of time I know you know now but if you’re asking me She’s out of her mind It’s got to be a freak out that once you finally sleep with her She calls at least three times a day and weeps into the speaker And what begins a heaven Turns to hell just trying to keep with her The will to stay and find a way just grows weaker and weaker And then before you know it, the hurricane moves on That cocktail of sex and pain is gone Oh by the way, how’s the leg? I recall it was more like a peg I bet you hopped right into bed and just as quickly had to beg I won’t say I told you so, that would betray such nerve But when you play with fire bro, you get what you deserve Clearly I was the wiser to leave all that lunacy behind Because by now I’m sure we both can agree You’ve learned the hard way but if you’re asking me It doesn’t take a psychologist to see The fact this crazy girl will never be out of your mind
2.
We’re coming to the end of this - there ain’t no need to lie The truth is you don’t give a damn if I live or die So wipe that plastic smile off your face and say goodbye It’s over, babe - there ain’t no need to lie There ain’t no need to lie like we both have done before I knew I’d reach the point I couldn’t take this anymore But I never thought me trying to help would just make you a whore But hey, at least with me, no need to fake it anymore I saw that shit you posted - spewing venomous and vile So hateful and ungrateful, out yo mind and in denial I’m sick and tired of scaling this gargantuan volcano Uninspired when all that’s left is avarice and ego So swallow that lip service down your throat and don’t ask why It’s over, babe – there ain’t no need to lie There’s a reason motherfucker didn’t call you for a week I know that it’s unlikely you’ll admit it But when you’re lonely in the night Hold the mirror to the light And maybe by some stroke of luck you’ll get it But I doubt it We’re coming to the end of this - there ain’t no need to lie The truth is you don’t give a damn if I live or if I die So wipe that plastic smile off your face and say goodbye It’s over, babe - there ain’t no need to lie It's over, babe - there ain't no need to lie
3.
The pull is strong, I get it It’ll take you if you let it There’s a good chance you’ll regret it though one day Such a high to choose it So easy to abuse it What you got, you lose it all the way Because that way, because that way Because that way lies the danger The ones you love are hurtin’ Carrying this burden While behind the velvet curtain you’re astray Fantasy is one thing But if the family’s a done thing You know there won’t be nothing left to say Because that way, because that way Because that way lies the danger Think about your love Think about your love All that it’s made of Think about your love Don’t go and lose your soul Right down that blackest hole Somebody needs you more than they ever did before Than they ever did before Than they ever did before
4.
I can’t believe I pulled that 4th queen As if 3 wasn’t amazing enough Most amazing thing I’ve ever seen Cousin I don’t even have to bluff Lady’s just a diamond in the rough I don’t even care if I win or not I’m just so amazed with what I’ve got Most amazing thing I’ve ever seen I can’t believe I pulled that 4th queen
5.
Let’s get this on the wall Straight up and right on top For the record y’all, the croon is sick Chill factor 99 Saline in both your eyes Full blood erections rise in every Jane and Dick And I feel for you, baby, I really do I mean it can’t be too tight now with all them loose screws Still I’ve got to say they're so damn in the way And while the hopes were high This is goodbye And so your palaces of sand all crumble to the sea My little hot air balloonatic No '69 Brandy's gonna get the best of me My little hot air balloonatic When nothing goes as planned cuz half the band is crazy It ain’t enough that the croon is sick So blah-blah-blah Blah-blah-blah Blah-blah-blah Hot air balloonatic, man you ain’t no place to be (Man I am so glad I'm free) Was hard to not get hard off that bony ass I’m talking boom-boom-pow but Ow! what a stony pass You're the gravest yard Can't tell you otherwise The last thing you know how to do now is apologize Me, I ain’t gonna trip on all that wack you said You think you's getting real but you's just off your head While that’s all well and good in the neighborhood With me it doesn’t fly This is goodbye
6.
Don’t pretend now Don’t pretend now It’s beneath you or at least, me So don’t pretend now you’re my friend now With empty words left on the phone ‘cause I can see How much you really cared How much you really dared When you really just preferred To let a tyrant make your crucial choices for you I was unaware you could ever be so scared Now I see how much you really cared Don’t pretend now it’s not the end now Our future is now the past So don’t pretend now you’re my friend now With naïve promises for which I haven’t asked How much you really cared How much you really bared When every note I heard A failed attempt to make a dictator adore you Information never shared Nobody was spared Now I see how much you really cared The last thing that I told you was to not make a decision Unless you absolutely needed it to be Now you find yourself in such a compromised position Sending out a smoke signal to me What do I do with this? There’s nothing true to this You should know I’m through with this
7.
Make a promise Pretend you’re honest But a doubting Thomas is what I tend to be ‘Cause soon you will prove With every single move you’re making that you’ve Never been a friend to me Your arms were double-crossed When they should have been open wide I saw the way you laughed and the way you cried Sometimes somebody gets a little too inside But from all that I’ve seen and what’s in between This much is true One thing you should know Wherever you go and whatever you do I know the truth about you So tight Through the long night But something wasn’t right somewhere in the O Enthusiastic, yes, but a little too plastic Guess I wasn’t fantastic enough to stay in the show Your legs were open wide When they should have been double-crossed What counts was photographed while the rest was tossed Sometimes you don’t know when your dignity’s been lost
8.
03:04
A pink flamingo with a fishing pole strolling down the avenue Not too crazy 'bout the present That the new poodle left on her shoe Throws a fit right there in Bloomingdales About the fish shortage in the sea Says, "Yeah, some show me a whale of a time But the catch is too wack for me." Hey, we all got neuroses Say why don't we toast these Right now at your daddy's backyard barbecue And stop, drop all of the worry You don't need to say you're sorry It shouldn't have to be so hard for me or for you I see you waiting on the milk to spill Banging that megaphone Me, I've been weeping over waterfalls Since I was knee-high to a rolling stone, baby Don't pretend it doesn't bother you when your world turns out of hand I hope it brings you some comfort babe That I most definitely understand Hey, three cheers for neuroses Say why don't we roast these Sacred cows and hangups out there on that spit 'Cause the doc says it's all in the perspective The only real objective is letting go And getting the heck on with it So hey, please don't let me blow this I wouldn't want to throw this So fabulous shindig down the disappointed drain Just feel like I should mention Please pay no attention to a little neurosis now and again Nobody gonna love you more Nobody gonna love you more I know I take it way too far with how particular it has to be I'm crazy but I love you baby Be patient with me
9.
Oh well go back and try again Yeah it was fun in the beginning Not like the same old routine More like a game I was winning Field was as fine as I’ve seen But then it started to change I’m finding out what that meant The game got harder and stranger Deeper and further I went Now I’m afraid of the danger and I’m just tired and spent Why does it have to be an obstacle course? Always so much stuff in the way Yeah I know that I can see you but I doubt I’ll ever reach you If I’m being realistic, this kinda feels sadistic Different challenges every day Why do I play this obstacle course? Hey I’m not a quitter by nature But I really think if I stay here I’ll end up dead and beaten eaten by an alligator All down your mad rushing river Yeah it’s exciting at first But I start to shake and shiver and I’m smashing into boulders While I’m carrying the weight of all your hang-ups on my shoulders I’m running through this obstacle course Always so much stuff in the way I’m caught anticipating all those prizes up there waiting But I don’t think I can make it - I’m not sure I can take it Is it even worth it to stay? Why do I play this obstacle course?
10.
The summer we got together I thought I finally found someone who could take me as I am Love me good and strong Celebrate my power and help me sing my song Funny sometimes how wrong you can be You don’t want to console me You just want to control me You don’t want to engage me Darlin’ you just want to cage me You don’t want to love me Oh no you just want to change me Into something that you think I should be That ain’t lovin’ me The spring before we happened I’d been watching you around You seemed so independent So free and confident Lately I’ve been wondering where on earth that person went ‘Cause my pillow says enough time’s been spent You don’t want to take me Oh no you just want to break me till I fit your sensibility That ain’t lovin’ me You gotta work it out babe You gotta work it out babe Whatever went down babe You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta… You don’t want to help build me All you want to do is guilt me You don’t want to soul mate me Darlin’ you manipulate me
11.
She got the open road now, babe Sat in that awful traffic for an hour and a half Four lanes into one ain’t no one’s idea of fun So ridiculous she had to laugh She got the open road now, babe Ain’t nothin’ gonna stand in her way Sick and tired of him never ever getting it together There wasn’t any reason to stay Ain’t nothin’ like the highway Stretchin’ out all wild and free Ain’t nothin’ like the highway Exactly where she oughta be She got the open road now, babe Got the window rolled down and the radio on He didn’t think she’d do it but I’m pretty sure he knew it When he opened up his eyes and she was already gone She got the open road now, babe Ain’t nothin’ rollin’ down on either side With all the guilt that he could serve up It was tough to get the nerve up You know she’s feeling satisfied Ain’t nothin’ like the highway Stretchin’ out all wild and free Ain’t nothin’ like the highway And it ain’t nothin’ she don’t need it to be She got the open road now, babe Ain’t nothin’ like the highway Like a river flowing out in the breeze Ain’t nothin’ like the highway She ain’t no fool like Thelma, got no crime like Louise She got the open road now, babe It’s time she got some peace of mind When it turns into a noose, you know you gotta cut it loose And while it’s frightening to leave it behind Ain’t nothin’ like the highway And it’s ok to be a little afraid Ain’t nothin’ like the highway, babe And to hell with all the games that he played Ain’t nothin’ like the highway Believe me, it was way more scary in the bed that he made She got the open road now, babe She got the open road now, babe She got the open road now, babe
12.
05:29
I love you as I’ve always loved you The pain is a 9 on a scale from 1 to 10 I see no reason to ever see your face again We stuck together All kinds of weather Many a night my heart drifts back to then I see no reason to ever see your face again Except to hurt myself When the urge presents itself Why would I do that? Why would I do that to myself? And I love you like I’ve always loved you What’s the point in trying to pretend? I see no reason to ever see your face again Except to hurt myself When the urge presents itself Why would I do that? Why would I do that when there’s always something else? And I love you as I’ve always loved you But what’s the point in trying to pretend? I see no reason to ever see your face again I see no reason to ever see your face again
13.
Ain’t no way I’m telling you what to do. Your life is yours. It’s totally up to you. No matter how that goes, one thing is true. You’re crazy. No offense. Ain’t no way I’m telling you where to go. The jig is up; the gig is yours to blow. It don’t matter much ‘cause we both know. You’re crazy. No offense. You’re crazy. No offense. The atmosphere here’s too intense. And nothing makes much sense you ever say. You’re crazy. No offense. I ain’t got time for arguments. Hey, we’re all trying to make our rents here every day. Ain’t no way I’m telling you how to live. We all know you’re very sensitive. And it won’t change no matter what I give because you’re crazy. No offense.

about

Followup to REDDER THOUGHTS / BLUER MIND.
Predecessor to CARAMELANCHOLYFLOWER.

credits

released June 23, 2017

Written, Arranged, Produced and Performed by Stephen Bard.
Recorded and Mixed by Stephen Bard, with thanks to Ryan Ball.

Copyright 2017. Chocolate Covered Strawberry Music (ASCAP).
Daily Natural Alternative Records. DNA 008.

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Stephen Bard New Jersey

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8/13 - Alibi Beach Bar, Byram, NJ. 5PM.

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