Get all 27 Stephen Bard releases available on Bandcamp and save 80%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of EXPECTATIONS, 1994, DINOSAUR VII, STATE OF THE ONION, 11 HERTZ, TERRA FILIA / SPACE, TWO WORDS, DINOSAUR III, and 19 more.
1. |
Bless Me Father
03:44
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Bless me father for I have sinned
So help me God tonight I fear I will do so again
And the following night also
And the evening after that too
She’s gorgeous and delicious
And her kiss is now a tattoo on my heart
I fall apart
Right from the start I was a goner
An affair that I was honored to attend
I know the clergy keeps insisting
That my soul should be left twisting in the wind
So bless me father for I have sinned
Bless me father for I am weak
Every time she passes by I’m unable to speak
I’m so nervous
Palms are sweaty and I’m spellbound where I sit
Got your sermon in my memory
To be hell-bound I admit would be a bitch
Ooh ain’t that rich?
But she’s this itch I’ve got to scratch
I’m at the mercy of her natural physique
And by my daddy’s own admission
This condition ain’t especially unique
So bless me father for I am
Weeks and weeks I swear we waited
The fear of fire and brimstone looming large
Hell I even hesitated when she took my hand
And begged me to take charge
There’s only so long you can hold it
When you’re looking in the eyes
Of everything you’ve ever wanted
With no need for compromising anymore
That’s why I’m knocking at your door
Bless me father for I’m in love
Her body is the land of milk and honey and it fits me like a glove
But even cooler is she’s kinder than anyone I’ve ever met
I’m putting on the blinders
And I’m hoping that I never get the hook
Man I’ve been shook
So now I’m looking for a favor
Put a word in with our savior up above
Eternal judgment for no reason
Surely this can’t be what he’s been thinking of
So bless me father
Bless me father
Bless me father for I’m in love
I'm in love
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2. |
The Deep End
05:07
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She steps into the shower
The beach house down in Seaside
All that lucky water
Close to her
Close to her
So hard to breathe
She sleeps on the beach
Free in somebody’s pool
On the weekend
She’s the deep end
I don’t how to tell her
We’re always all together
That lucky local surfer
Close to her
So close to her
So hard to breathe
She sleeps on the beach
Free in somebody’s pool
On the weekend
She’s the deep end
And even if she looked my way
It’s all a game
What would I say?
I don’t know
I don’t know
How to play
How to play
How to play
How do I tell her?
We’re always all together
That lucky local surfer
Close to her
So close to her
So hard to breathe
She sleeps on the beach
Free in somebody’s pool
On the weekend
She’s the deep end
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3. |
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Michael from the mountain was a man of great desire
He routinely wrote it all down and then threw it on the fire
Only one in school could hang his heart out on the wire
Rita – unlike any other creature
There was no love in Rita’s heart for the boy with the potent pen
He didn’t look the part
He wasn’t like the other men she was interested in seeing
You know a Barbie needs a Ken
Michael was convinced that he could teach her
No matter what he did, you know it never found success
Mystery cards on every birthday, hoping she would guess
Unrequited love is an endless tunnel of BS
For the lonely, desperate fool just trying to reach her
But oh we aren’t the ones to write it
We aren’t the ones to write that book
Oh we aren’t the ones to write it
Nobody knows who writes it
In a crowded movie theatre on the dark side of the world
Michael watched Nicolas Cage try to win The Valley Girl
Struck between the eyes, Hollywood thunderbolt unfurled
The answer on the screen right there above him
Wild Crazy Romance would deliver him his prize
He’d become the Great Romantic in a flurry of disguises
Whose escapades would surely light the fire in Rita’s eyes
And she would be the one now thinking of him
His mother noticed first that he was acting kind of strange
His friends in A.P. Chemistry just labeled him deranged
The Jordache and Capezios were certainly a change
That nobody could recognize as serious
He did his hair in a pompadour and drank at Sutter’s Mill
He got a brand new leather jacket and a bottle of Clearasil
He would lay out in a sleeping bag beneath her windowsill
Till Rita with desire would be delirious
But oh we aren’t the ones to write it
She never even came around to look out on the lawn
He lay there softly coffin in the cold November dawn
And staring at the curtains that forever would stay drawn
He didn’t even know she’d gone to Arizona
Now some things aren’t meant to be no matter how we crave
Most ain’t gonna win the lottery no matter how they save
What a waste of time, he thought
As they lowered him to his grave
He never would have caught that damned pneumonia
Oh we aren’t the ones to write it
Oh we aren’t the ones to write that book
Oh we aren’t the ones to write it
We aren’t the ones, we aren’t the ones
Oh we aren’t the ones to write it
Oh we aren’t the ones to write that book
Oh we aren’t the ones to write it
Nobody knows who writes it
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4. |
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On occasion, every century or so,
Usually in the summer,
Venus would assume human form and marry a mortal.
The other gods would clutch their stomachs
And pee themselves laughing.
While she never meant the mortal harm,
Jupiter’s dice didn’t care either way.
They would fall as they pleased,
Regal and free.
Enjoying the outcome regardless,
Drunk with power.
But something occurred the dice did not consider.
The mortal found that while he loved Venus
And wanted to be with her
He was confused as to his truest feelings.
This shocked the gods and sent Venus into a spiral of doubt
Lasting many years.
Suddenly one autumn, as if waking from a strange dream,
Venus remembered that all the others in her wake
Had always succumbed eventually
And this nervy mortal would be no different.
In fact, all she had ever had to do was shun him
While posing the slightest suggestion
Of another vying for her love.
Of course everything immediately changed then.
Ah, men.
So it was in the darkening autumn,
Just beyond the swaying trees
With a passion upon him now bordering on obsession,
Her hapless husband could faintly hear
The laughter of the dice and the gods
And felt mocked and besieged.
Most his waking hours were spent wondering
If such rivers of pleasure
Were worth such oceans of pain.
Sleep filled with trampling horses,
A puppet strung up by forces he could not comprehend,
The dizzy mortal often considered his own end,
Teetering on the edge of insanity.
What would she do if I did such a thing?
If I daggered my heart?
Would she weep if I died?
There was no answer but gravity
And the faraway voice of Jupiter.
“If it can fall, it will.”
Many years passed in this manner and yet somehow,
The marriage continued on.
For no matter what the cost,
There was nothing remotely to compare
With the love of Venus or the children made from it.
Indeed, he must have wondered every day why she had even elected
To marry him in the first place, let alone stay with him
Through such a relatively narrow and tiny existence.
True, through the centuries,
The men she chose to enchant and ensnare
Had most certainly paid for it.
But when the grey departed and the clear blue returned,
The silly mortal stood on the wall
Gazing upon his beautiful wife and said,
“Yes, I would happily give her my entire life again
And again and again and again.
She is Venus, after all.”
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5. |
Samurai
04:26
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Brandishing the saber at your side
Basking in the safety you provided for so long
Decades of protection
Stretching past perfection to another place
Discovered somewhere hidden in a song
Was it wrong to ask for more than you could give?
Was it selfish wanting you to live forever?
Because I did and still do
Sad but it’s true that’s no one’s destiny
Especially for somebody like you
Samurai
Couldn’t feel your fingers any longer
Ringing in your ears getting stronger every day
Strength and hope decaying
Reluctant hero fading in the endless night
Waiting for another round to play
Samurai
Why?
Samurai
Magic with a sword
Samurai
What you were moving toward I couldn’t follow
A beating heart so hollow and so dry
When warriors are done do they choose their place to die?
Either way with every fiber of my being
I can sit here now and cry
I do not want to say goodbye
Say goodbye
Say goodbye
Say goodbye
Samurai
Why?
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6. |
The Last Hot Water
04:17
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This is God talking here
No it's not a dream
Sometimes the unbelievable things are really what they seem
You've got a lot of explaining to do little man
A lot of explaining to do
You see I've been away for a millennium now
Wait I'm told that it was two
I left this planet in your care
What'd you go and do?
Stripped her to her naked core
Dumped gray in all the blue
I'm very angry little man and I've decided this
I'm going to take away certain things I know you'll miss
This is the last hot water you're ever going to feel
Enjoy your little shower boy
Don't try to make a deal
I'm taking electricity
You haven't used it well
And forget about the gas and the oil
You've shot those things to hell
You're such a bad boy
Such a bad boy
Yes you are
You're such a bad boy
Such a bad boy
The saddest thing about it is I thought you'd realize
That it might be time to change things
When there's acid in the sky
You think you're so significant and all should go your way
And I should be at your beckon call
Just 'cause one day you wake up and decide to pray
I'm very angry little man and I've decided this
I'm going to take away certain things I'm sure you'll miss
This is the last hot water you're ever going to feel
Enjoy your little shower boy
Don't try to make a deal
I'm taking electricity
You haven't used it well
And forget about the gas and the oil
You've shot those things to hell
You're such a bad boy
Such a bad boy
Yes you are
You're such a bad boy
Such a bad boy
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7. |
Andromeda
07:14
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I saw you
I saw you in a dream
Or was it in the sky?
I'm still busy wondering what happens when we die
I guess you never know until you know
By all means, take your sweetest time here with me
There's so much more to do and to be here makes me happy
I try to keep the fear in its place up on the shelf
And enjoy each darling day despite this dread inside myself
I'm sorry – I’m sorry
To think you’d take an interest in some silly earthling’s melodrama
Andromeda
Andromeda
I saw you
I saw you in my mind
Or was it on a screen?
A denser ring or grander thing I'm sure I've never seen
And to think you're just a galaxy away
Perhaps you might inspire something in me
There's so much left to contemplate, it all just makes me dizzy
But knowing that you're there slightly diminishes a qualm
And the beauty of your swirl provides a distant kind of calm
So thank you – thank you
For temporary solace from a half-true existential trauma
Andromeda
Andromeda
I know you’re there
Although I cannot see you with my naked eye
I know you’re there
I know that you can feel my pain and hear me cry
Andromeda – Andromeda
Dance!
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Stephen Bard New Jersey
This page is home to the music of
Stephen Bard
and
Terra Filia
who is
Stephen Bard
and
Emily Claire.
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